Meet Anne Marie

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Today I want to introduce you to Anne Marie as the person I’d like to highlight in the series “Stronger Together“.

Anne Marie is someone that has inspired me SO much!

Seeing her check-ins and milestone reports at the FB page have literally brought me to tears. (you’ll read about some of her milestones achieved below)

I love her enthusiasm and totally connect to how she feels about the “process” of losing weight…I get the sense that there is fun to be had throughout this journey for her and I hope to be hearing her reports throughout it all. 😉

Anne Marie has responded to a series of questions that more or less correspond to the steps I’ve taken in my own journey as outlined in the “How to Lose 100 Pounds” book series.

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1. YOUR Journey and Plan for Weight Loss Success: Please tell us a little bit about your own journey with weight loss and getting healthy?

I am 37 years old and have battled with my weight since I was a child.  The last time I was successful at losing weight was 20 years ago while I was in high school.  I was tired of being teased and not feeling comfortable in my own skin. I was determined to not go to college as the fat kid, and I didn’t.

I grew up in New York and was going to school in Nashville, TN.  My childhood best friend was the only person I was going to know in Nashville so this was a chance for me to change myself into someone who was not going to be teased or picked on or looked down upon or treated differently because of my weight.  I don’t remember how much I weighed when I started school but I do remember being thrilled that I was a size 7/8 – 9/10.

The weight crept on slowly through my 20’s and before I realized it I was sitting at 220 pounds.

I went back to weight watchers several times and tried all sorts of different diets and nothing worked.  I was able to maintain my weight but I never really lost more than 5 or so pounds no matter how well I ate or how hard I worked out.

I never felt well, I was tired all the time, and my doctor was constantly on me about my weight.  He really did not believe that I was trying.  To try and prove to him that I was trying, I agreed to do a weight loss plan that his office had.  Part of the office was a gym and there was a personal trainer.   I did everything by the book.  I even started getting up at 5am to go in there and exercise in the morning before work because that was when he was in there working out and I wanted him to see me following through.

I remember the first follow up I had with him after about a month or so of working out 3 times a week and religiously keeping my food journal.  I remember looking at the paper that the trainer had written.  It said “Something is wrong.  Patient is following the plan with very little results.”  I was so relieved; I thought “This is it!  Finally he will understand I am struggling here.”  No such luck.  I even asked him about insulin resistance.  I had been reading up on it and I really felt like it could be my problem.  He blew it off, I was just fat and must not have been keeping an accurate food journal.

I think something in me broke at that appointment.  Between that and other things happening in my life at that time, I was miserable and depressed.  For the next several years, I just went through the motions.  Got a new job, made new friends and made some major changes in my life.  While good things were happening and I was trying to manage my weight, it just kept going up.  All of a sudden I was weighing in at around 250-260.  Then I stopped weighing myself unless I was at the Dr and I went very, very seldom because I didn’t want to hear about my weight.

Fast forward to Spring 2008.  I am about to turn 33, I have finally met the man God chose to be my husband and have gotten engaged.  I had never really dated or had a serious boyfriend so this was a big deal.  I was determined to enjoy every moment of it and that meant going out to eat….all the time.

During that year before I got married, the weight just piled on and I was so happy I honestly don’t know if I noticed because if I did, I certainly didn’t care.  Most women get engaged and go on a diet.  Not me.  For the first time in my life, someone loved me for me and my weight was not an issue.  It was soooo liberating to not feel so self conscious all the time and not to be obsessing on my weight.

Before I knew it, I tipped the 300 pound mark, and strangely, I did not seem to care.  Actually, I did not know I had passed 300 until I went for my annual exam with my GYN in 2009.  My husband and I were trying to conceive and we were not having any luck.  When she said she wanted to check my insulin for insulin resistance, I started to cry.  If I recall, she said it needed to come back 14 or less.  Anything higher would be considered insulin resistant.  When the test results came back, I was thrilled.  My fasting insulin was 47!   Validation!  It was not in my head.  My body had been fighting my weight loss efforts and eventually, it won.

I would like to say that was the turning point for me but it wasn’t.  I went from 320 to about 315 with the medication but didn’t change my diet or start working out.  I think in my head, the medication was supposed to do it all for me.

Earlier this year, I switched primary care physicians.  My depression and anxiety was increasing rapidly.  We were in year number 3 of TTC and every month I got more and more depressed.  I didn’t want to increase the anti-depressant and then have to go off of it once I got pregnant.

Finally, in April of this year, I realized I could not handle the depression anymore.  I was a wreck and I couldn’t even imagine being pregnant with the way I was feeling.  I began to slowly increase my anti-depressants.  Within about 6 weeks, I felt the fog beginning to lift.  I was starting to connect with myself again. I remember all of a sudden thinking I didn’t have a right to have a baby right now because I was too fat and miserable to be a good mom.  The problem was my weight was sooo out of control I was too overwhelmed trying to figure out where to start.

It was during that twilight phase that I found Paula’s books.  It was free and I thought, why not.  I got so much from that first book that I purchased the others and read them all that same night.  For the first time in over 20 years, I was beginning to think I could be one of the successful ones.  Ideas began to swirl around in my head.  I wasn’t ready yet, but I was close.

I had a friend who was trying to get me to join a 16 week weight loss program at a local gym.  I had absolutely no intentions of doing so.  For years I had been paying to use the onsite workout facility at my job and hadn’t set foot in there since before I got married.  I was going to be disciplined and start using one of the many work out DVD’s that I had accumulated over the years.

To try and motivate myself, I challenged my husband to a 3 month weight loss contest, which we started on June 1^st.   On June 5^th, I was in the kitchen cooking dinner and the switch flipped.  I was fully connected to myself again and my really ticked off inner control freak took over.  I realized that it was day 5 of our competition and I had yet to go upstairs and work out one time.  I texted my friend that night, talked to her again the next day and then I went to visit the gym.  I signed up on the spot and changed my work schedule a bit to allow me to work out after work and have it not be 6 or 7 when I get home and only then start to cook dinner.

I was vigilant with my eating and exercise once I started the program but as I was approaching week 4, I was quickly losing steam.  The scale was barely moving.  Only 6 pounds down.  I was failing again.  Trying harder than I had ever tried AND failing, again.  Everyone that was saying they noticed a difference was just trying to make me feel good.  Luckily, part of the plan is that you meet with a trainer once a month.

On July 18, I met with the trainer and I weighed in again.  In just 4 weeks, I had lost 14 pounds of body fat and gained 8 pounds of lean muscle.   That one weigh in made it worth every penny I had spent.  I was NOT failing! I just didn’t know that I was gaining quite so much lean muscle. FINALLY!  Everything has fallen into place and I am on the road back down the number highway that has defined me my whole life.  I don’t know if I will ever get to a point where I don’t think of myself as the number the scale reads back to me, but I know I will never again let what that number is, define me or how I feel about myself.

For the first time in my life, I am not looking at this as a diet.  I truly am making lifestyle changes that I know I can stick with.

2. Finding the Motivation: What is your big WHY for losing weight and getting healthy? How do you stay motivated?

My biggest why for losing weight and getting healthy is because I am so tired of feeling the way I feel.  I don’t want to just exist and go through the motions anymore.   I am so tired of feeling sick and tired.  I want to enjoy my life.  I want to be a better wife and I want to be a mother.  What keeps me going to the gym and making the tough food choices, is knowing that I am not on this journey alone and that many of you are struggling with the same decisions and issues on a daily basis.  SO many of you motivate and inspire me and I want to have positive things to post and hopefully motivate and inspire others.

3. Goals and Planning: Are you setting goals for yourself? Please share with us where you are at with your own goal setting and any tips that you might have for this planning process.

I have a notebook where I have written down my overall goals.  #1 is to be less than 200 pounds when I turn 40 in May 2015.  Every Sunday night, I sit down and write a review of the previous week and set my goals for the next week.  I don’t meet every goal every week but I don’t expect myself to.  If I am meeting them all then I am not pushing myself.

4. Eating for Weight Loss: Are you following a specific diet or food plan? Any tips for how you deal with challenges in this area?

I am not on a specific diet, per se, but I have adopted most of the principles of clean eating.  I only drink water, tea or seltzer.  I don’t eat a lot of processed foods at all anymore.  I haven’t had a diet coke or sugary drink since sometime in May.   I have also significantly cut out starchy carbs which has been quite a challenge for me since I could eat pasta 3 times a day and be a-ok with it.  I also don’t eat carbs of any type after my lunch meal.  After lunch, it is all protein and vegetables.  I have also started adding protein shakes to my diet.  I try to drink at least one a day and on the days that I do my weight training, I drink another one on my way home.  I also give myself one cheat meal a week – usually chicken parm and pasta at Carrabbas 🙂

5. Exercise for Weight Loss: Do you have an exercise plan currently? Please share your own exercise plan and any tips that you think could be useful for others.

I hate exercising.  I hate getting hot and sweaty.  There is NOTHING about exercising that is appealing to me, at all; however, I knew that if this was going to work, I had to commit to it.  When I first started, I did my weight training and cardio 3 times a week.  After a few weeks, I realized I was going to have to go every day to get into the habit, so now I do my weight training and 30-45 minutes of cardio 3 days a week and on the other 4 days a week, I try to do at least 45+ minutes of cardio. Depending on how I feel, I push to 60 minutes.

6. Getting Back on Track (after a gain or just starting out): What words of advice do you have for others who may be struggling to forgive past attempts at weight loss or for those who are just trying to get started? Is there anything else you would like to share?

Forgive yourself for getting yourself to where you are (I am still working on that).  When you make a bad decision, don’t write off the rest of the day, or week.  Take control with the very next food choice you make.  Remember that everyone’s body is different so everyone’s results will be different and that as long as you are trying, you are succeeding.

Paula’s “How to Lose 100 Pounds” books are so honest, inspiring and motivational.  No judgments, no condescension…..just someone who has fought this struggle too and sharing her experiences and what she has learned, hoping to help others.

One of the things I excel at is making and refining processes.  Why I never thought about weight loss as a process and approached it in that way, I don’t know but when I read the first book, I had a major light bulb moment.  My wheels began to turn.  “Wow, I can break this down.  I don’t have to look at all of the weight at once.  I can recognize all the accomplishments that will come before the goal can be met.  I AM ON FIRE!  I have a plan.  I’m ready!”

I have recommended her books and websites to many of my friends.  Paula helped me connect the dots and has had such a tremendous impact on my life.  I have found such acceptance and support from her and from all of you that I want them to feel it too!   Thank you Kindle, thank you Paula and thanks to all of you!  We can do this together!

Anne Marie

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A note from Paula…

A BIG thank you to Anne Marie for taking the time to share her journey with us all AND I love what she says about appreciating the support of YOU all via the Facebook page as well. What an awesome community we are building here. Nothing could make me more happy! 🙂

My hope is that you would comment below with words of encouragement for Anne Marie and also share a bit of your own “story” with us all.

Much love,

~ Paula

P.S. Please join us at the Facebook page – I’d love to “meet” you! 🙂