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15 to 40: I’m a Believer in a Good Dose of Therapy

December 23, 2009 by Leave a Comment

I'm turning 40 in 15 days!

I mentioned in my post about living in San Francisco that this period was SO significant in my life.

There were great nanny jobs, crazy jobs, great friends, not so great boyfriends, and…there was my therapist!

At some point during some depression, my aunt (a high school guidance counselor) suggested that maybe I should try some sort of therapy. Hmmmm….I had never REALLY thought about doing this before.  I think I had a belief that therapy was for the weak…and was that me?

I did think that I needed some help and I thought all of my problems had to do with my weight.

Right!

First BIG ah ha in therapy – your issue is most likely NOT what you think your issue is!

Don’t get me wrong…she didn’t uncover any great family secrets or things that were lurking in the shadows of my mind. BUT she did help me…tremendously in fact! I believe that I actually saw her for the good part of 3 years or so.

shiftTherapy helped me to:

  • Love myself even at my less than perfect weight
  • Find my way back to God and seek forgiveness for past mistakes I had made (I needed this!)
  • Figure out a future path for myself (at that time it included travel to Spain to take a course)
  • Navigate my relationships at that time, communicating my feeling more clearly
  • Survive a devastating break-up WITHOUT stuffing (eating) my feelings – I actually cried through this one! 😉
  • Recognize the benefit of a professional such as this during specific and needed periods of our lives

Yes, therapy was a big deal for me! Leaving my therapist was a bit like a break-up. LOL Of course I was healthy and ready and able to move on from it.

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16 to 40: A Video Message About Body Image

December 22, 2009 by Leave a Comment

I'm turning 40 in 16 days!

In case your were wondering…  😉

…at seventeen (the actual prom)

prom-paula1…and the in between!  before-bench

P.S. In the video I say I am 17 days away from 40 and actually it is 16 days today!

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Week 155 Check-in: December 21, 2009

December 21, 2009 by Leave a Comment

Starting Weight: Jan 1, 2007 – 278 lbs
Previous Week’s Weight: December 14, 2009 – 168.4

Current Weight: December 21, 2009 – 168 lbs

Week 155 Weight Loss:  .4 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 110 lbs

Exercise Report:
Cardio x 5
Strength Training (Upper body) x 3
Strength Training (Lower body) x 3
Abs x 2
Pilates x 2

Food Report:
Another great week thanks to my Holiday Challenge Support Team!

Notes:

  • The Holiday Challenge still going strong!  Feel free to  join us at any time.
  • Still sticking to no eating after 9PM. Yay!
  • Very excited about heading to Vegas this week!
  • Also super excited about the New Year – Be sure to check out the mini-series
    “2010: What’s Your Plan“
Filed Under: Weekly Check-in

17 to 40: At Home in San Francisco

December 21, 2009 by 2 Comments

I'm turning 40 in 17 days!

At home in San Francisco for a good part of my adult life thus far…

golden gate bridge

I used to drive across this bridge 5 days a week as I chauffeured the girls I nannied to school in beautiful Marin County. I never tired of the view! How could you? It’s amazing in both directions!

I had left San Diego after about 4 years to head up the coast to the beautiful Bay Area. I was dating someone from San Diego, (not seriously…in fact it wasn’t the healthiest of relationships) who had moved up to San Jose for a job. I made my plans because I was ready for a change. Needless to say that I didn’t even connect with this person for 6 months or so after moving…but THAT’S for another story! 😉

So, I packed up my adventurous self and moved into a residential hotel in downtown San Francisco. (Note that this was NOT really the best place to be.) I pounded the pavement by day, making my rounds with all the nanny agencies and setting up interviews with parents.

chinatownMy first position was a live-out job and I rented an apartment right near Chinatown! I was 5 minutes walk to here and 5 minutes walk to Union Square and downtown San Francisco. I loved it! It was a great place to be to explore the city for my first year in the Bay Area.

presidioThe family I worked for lived in Presidio Heights, just a few blocks from the Presidio itself. I would grab the bus early in the AM to head across town to work. I was a city girl with a cute little apartment above a tunnel.

After a time, the parents actually divorced and I was invited to live in a new home with mother and girls. It was still in the same part of town and I was attending San Francisco State University at the time so it seemed like a wise move. They had also become like family to me and I would have privacy downstairs in the new house.

driving-to-sea-cliffI stayed with this family until after I graduated from San Francisco State in 1998. At this point, the girls were older and even though they no longer needed my nanny services I continued to live with them while I worked a nanny position in the beautiful and prestigious Sea Cliff area of San Francisco.

Here, I took care of one little boy age 4. It was a great job and I worked a lot of 24 hr shifts as the parents traveled a fair bit.

Once I finished college (Finally!), I had decided it was time for the big trip I had been planning. I registered for a school in Barcelona, Spain where I would spend 5 months getting my ESL certificate to teach English as a Second Language. (More on that in another post.)

I did complete the course, traveled around Europe (YAY!) and then after a stay with my parents in MI trying to decide where/what to do, I ended up back in San Francisco once again.

stepsI found a live-in nanny job in Pacific Heights very near where I was living previously.

To the right is a picture of the steps I used to walk for exercise about 1 block away from where I was living.  The lovely view is of the Marina District and the Bay below. The Golden Gate Bridge is just to the left out of sight. How would you like to have this view while you exercised every day? It was amazing! 🙂

This was a crazy job to say the least. I will not go into details, but there were 3 kids, 1 lab and 2 crazy parents! I moved on from there pretty quickly to land an awesome job across the Golden Gate Bridge in beautiful Marin County where I would live and work for the next 5 yrs or so until moving away from San Francisco.

I definitely have a soft spot in my heart for this city and the relationships that were formed there. I learned a lot about myself at this time in my life. (More on this in future posts.)

I left my heart….   😉


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18 to 40: Glass Walking, Fire Eating and Hot Coals Oh My!

December 20, 2009 by Leave a Comment

I'm turning 40 in 18 days!

Glass walking, fire eating and walking on hot coals mark a stage for me in my early 20’s.

I was living in San Diego, CA at the time and I think I was looking for some kind of connection to spiritually. I tried out a few churches but for the most part this was a time of rebellion against much of the Lutheran “religion” that I had grown up with.

I was definitely searching for some “personal power” and attended a few weekend seminars with hypnotist Marshall Sylver. It was here that I…

Swallowed fire:

fire-eating…and walked on glass:

glass-walk

I also attended one of Anthony Robbins events where I walked across hot coals.

All of this was pretty amazing and I do think it opened my eyes to new possibilities and ways of thinking.

In later years as I became clearer about my faith, I realized that much of what I had been searching for back then I found in my relationship with God.

Ah…the things we do! 😉


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19 to 40: Travel Adventures: Guatemala

December 19, 2009 by Leave a Comment

I'm turning 40 in 19 days!

Guatemala photos below tell the tale of my first real travel adventure!

BIG new flash about me…I LOVE to travel! I want to see the world and I’ll be including several more posts to come of trips I’ve taken and future plans of longer term travel. Yay!

I took this trip to Guatemala during my early 20’s. At that time, I was a nanny in the San Diego area. My parents started planning a trip to take their church youth group to Guatemala to work in an orphanage that my family had been very involved with. (I have two cousins who are adopted from this orphanage.) They extended the invitation to me and I accepted with great excitement!

Prior to this, my travel experiences out of the U.S. had only included Mexico trips with my parents that were close to the U.S. border. So I was very excited to get my passport and even the needed shots.

Here are some pictures of my travels in Guatemala:

This is Casa Guatemala:

orphanage

The orphanage is located on the Rio Dulce in Guatemala:

rio-dulce

While at the orphanage, one of the bigger projects we completed was the building of this bridge that led from the main area to the clinic:

bridge

And here is one of many photos I took of the amazing children that we loved spending time with:

orphanage-kids

After the time spent at the orphanage, I was fortunate enough to be able to stay on a bit to travel with my Aunt, Uncle and cousin. We were off to explore more of the beautiful country of Guatemala!

We visited many of the local markets, including the famous Chichicastenango market (I think that is the market in the picture.)

guatemala-marketBeautiful Lake Atalan surrounded by volcanoes:

lake-atalanHere is a picture for the city center in Antigua, Guatemala – a place well known for its Spanish language immersion programs.

antigua-guatemala

Things I learned from my travel experience to Guatemala:

  • I wanted to see more of the world! This dream was most definitely still alive!
  • I did find great joy in volunteering at the orphanage and would love to do something like this again in the future.
  • My weight DID hinder me in some ways! Though not at my heaviest, being overweight affected how I felt about myself and it definitely made a difference in how I moved throughout this journey physically. (I also got really sick towards the end of my trip and feel that the longer recovery period was partly to do my physical state.)
  • Meeting other travelers in Guatemala spurred my optimism that I would travel again in the future!

It was a wonderful first adventure and my heart would begin yearning for more…  😉

Do you love to travel? What was your first BIG trip? Would love to hear it…


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20 to 40: Meet NannyP…

December 18, 2009 by 2 Comments

I'm turning 40 in 20 days!

Meet Nanny P…

beach-nannyOr what I like to refer to as the “crazy hair days”! (at least these early days!)

I’m very careful about showing pictures of other people though I would love to show a ton of shots of the various wonderful families that I’ve worked for over the years, instead you get this one!

It perfectly takes me back to that wonderful summer that pretty much started my nanny career. This was taken in the Hamptons of Long Island NY the summer after my freshman year at Luther College.

I had gotten this great summer job through a professor at college. It was an absolute blast. I would pack up the kiddos with food, toys and swim gear in the morning and we’d head to the private beach club for the day!

How funny does this sound? Often at the beach you would first see the row of children playing, then the nannies right behind them, THEN the moms back further still! What a crack-up! Those were good days. I became friends with so many nannies, au pairs and life guards! During our time off, we would explore the Hamptons, head into the city and try not to get in too much trouble!

I had worked my first real nanny job a few years prior to this. My cousin lived in Columbia, MD and my aunt had helped me to get a live-in position there for the summer. It was my first real glimpse into this world and at that time because of my age, I was really more of a mother’s helper than an official nanny.

After the great summer in the Hamptons, it was very difficult to return to college in small town Iowa.  While I had been in New York, I connected with a nanny agency there and made the decisions to look for full-time work as a nanny. I had every intention of finding something that would also allow me to continue working towards completion of my degree. (which I did accomplish eventually)

From there, I did a 2 week stint for someone REALLY famous in Connecticut. I won’t mention names but I will say that this job was NOT fun! Interesting, but not nice!

I decided that I wanted to be a California girl and headed out to Palm Springs area to meet up with a classmate from high school. I then began a search and meeting with agencies in the Los Angeles/Beverly Hills area as well as further south in San Diego.

I won’t bore you with the details of every family. I’ll say that I worked in San Diego (Del Mar area) and San Francisco/Marin for the next 12+ years! There were mostly awesome families with a bit of craziness thrown in!

I’ve worked 8 major jobs with different families. Most of the children were age 3 or older when I started and I’m still close with a few of the families to this day. One of the girls I used to take care of (She was in high school at the time and I was really more of a chauffeur) just got married last summer! Recently I’ve reconnected with a few others via Facebook which has been SO fun!

My living arrangements varied with the last position in beautiful Marin County where I lived in a private guest house. (There were deer outside my window in the mornings!)

I say now as I am turning 40 that perhaps this WAS my child rearing days! 😉

I don’t know really. I do love children AND I’m thankful that I am also not a 39 yr old – soon to be 40 woman who is yearning for children of her own.  We will see what the future will bring…

I definitely have it in me to be a great parent/wife/home maker. I have taken care of whole families from running the house/errands/appointments/kids schedules to ironing dad’s work shirts.

A domestic goddess is in me for sure! 😉

P.S. Here is one of my other projects in the works!
NannyP.com

nannyp-purple

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21 to 40: Thoughts on Education

December 17, 2009 by Leave a Comment

I'm turning 40 in 21 days!

I began my college years at Luther College in Decorah, Iowa right after graduating high school in 1988.

lutherLuther was a great private school in the Midwest. I received some scholarships and got the financial aid package that would allow me to attend this school of choice.

At the time I began my freshman year, my family still lived in Ferryville, WI which was only about an hour drive away.

I was a bright eyed freshman that first year. It was a VERY busy year! I began my college career as an Accounting major. (with the intention of joining the FBI one day – it was one of 5 fields recommended to be eligible for consideration)

I was accepted in the Freshman Chorus which was important to me as music was still a big part of my life. Luther was actually very well known for their music department.

I worked a lot my freshman year of college. My financial aid package also included work study on campus, (I worked in the food service department.) and I continued to work nights and weekends at McDonald’s. It was a busy year alright and I also did pretty well with my studies and grades.

As summer neared, I began thinking about finding another fun nanny job for a few months.  (I had done this for a summer during my high school days in Columbia, Maryland) As luck would have it, I connected with a professor on campus whose son was looking for a nanny out in Greenwich, Connecticut for the summer months. Thus began what would become my “nanny career”.  😉

It was a wonderful summer! The family had a home in Quogue, NY, so I spent much of the time in the famous Hamptons of Long Island with fun days and nights in New York City. (Wow, this girl was a long way from small town WI!) There were a few girlfriends from Luther there as well and we had a blast! (More on my nanny days in a later post)

I talk about the summer, because it led to my dissatisfaction with going back to Iowa to school. I did go back but I had loved being in New York and started to realize that I did not see myself living in the Midwest for the next 3 years of my life.

I took a leave of absence from Luther that second year of school to head back to CT for a new nanny position.

Not long after that job did not work out, I boarded a plane to head to California to meet up with a friend from high school. She was living in Palm Desert and I had decided to look for a job nannying in Beverly Hills or the Los Angeles area. I was going to be a California girl! WooHoo!

For the next several (10+) years I would work as a nanny in California. This has to do with my education because it became a wonderful way for me to relocate and choose a job that would still allow me to finish college.

I moved around a bit and ended up in southern CA near San Diego. Here I would attend a junior college to get in all of the prerequisite classes that I needed.

I became smart with financing my education and no longer took out loans, opting for more affordable choices in schools.

From Junior College in San Marcos, CA, I would move to San Francisco. Here I landed a wonderful nanny position taking care of two girls that were in school. This allowed me to go to college at San Francisco State University where I did get my bachelor’s degree FINALLY in 1998. Yes, it turns out I had been on the 10 yr plan to get my degree!

I graduated with a degree in Social Science and a minor in Business Administration. Throughout much of my years at SFSU, I really did not see a clear career path, but I did know that I wanted to finish what I had started. If I had to do it over again, would I have done the 10 yrs of struggle to get through classes? After all, I’m not “really” using my degree now. lol I think I learned a lot during that time. I wouldn’t trade it and I did have a great feeling of accomplishment at the end of it all!

So, I do believe in higher education for sure but I don’t believe that holding a degree is the answer for everyone. Especially in today’s economy where it means more than a high school diploma for sure, BUT it definitely does not guarantee employment that way it did once in the past.

Today I believe in education for the sake of learning. I would think more about the goals that are to be met.

For example, I love to invest in my Internet Marketing education. I purchase just what I need to learn advancement within my current goals online.

Ah….the college days. You can bet there are other stories about this time in my life.

For now, we will just leave it at that! 😉


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22 to 40: On Friendship…

December 16, 2009 by Leave a Comment

I'm turning 40 in 22 days!

True friendship…there is NOTHING like it!

friendshipThis picture is not a personal pic, but I think it perfectly conveys the idea of friendship. Particularly for women (girls) and the special bonds that we share with other women in our lives.

I love my friends…really nothing can compare to these special relationships.

I think there are different levels of friendships for sure and these relationships change and grow throughout our lives. (as we also change and grow older)

I do not have the same friendships today that I had back in High School although I would certainly call these people among friends if I were ever to be living in the area where I grew up.

I mentioned in a previous post on solitude how much I enjoyed being by myself and I would not say that I am particularly a very social person, but I do so enjoy the best friends I have in life.

I’ve always been one to have a handful of REALLY good, solid women in my life…for that I have always been SO grateful. You know the ones that you can phone when you are so upset that you can hardly breathe? They pick up the phone and instantly KNOW that their ear (and shoulder if you are lucky to live close) is needed….and they ARE there for you…REALLY there for you!

I love and need people like that in my life.

I also like to be that friend…I hope I am to at least a few. 😉

I’ve also spoken about my siblings and how blessed I am to call all of them my best friends!

As we get ready to enter 2010, I am amazed at the new friends that I have personally made and the friendships that I see being formed virtually!

This is the whole point behind the Celebrate Weight Loss Forum Community! If you have not joined us there, please do so! I would love to meet you and hear all about your journey to health and fitness!

I also cannot BELIEVE the amazing community within the virtual Twitter world that has become very popular. (Follow me and set up your account if you need to by clicking on that link.)

I have so many virtual BFF’s now to help me finish up what I started in my own weight loss journey!

You know who you are! 🙂 Thank you!



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23 to 40: Confessions of a High School Prom Queen

December 15, 2009 by 2 Comments

I'm turning 40 in 23 days!

prom picturesThe prom pictures you see here are of me in 1987! My Junior Prom…

I wasn’t sure exactly how to introduce this topic. I mean I certainly feel very honored that I was crowned prom queen that year BUT for sure I want you to understand that I share this with you because I genuinely was feeling very appreciated at this time in my life.

Recall that this was the year after my car accident and broken neck.  I definitely would say that I was well liked among my peers. Mind you, this WAS a small high school with about 60-70 students per class.

Another thing to note about my Junior Prom…I actually did NOT have an official prom date. lol I was on the prom court with an awesome friend but he had a girlfriend and I was there solo with a group of girls! I was never really into the high school dances too much but his year did turn out to be pretty special.

This is my favorite picture of the night. My parents were chaperones and here I share a dance with my father:

dance with dadI thought I would take a moment to talk again about body image and how I believe I was feeling about myself as a 16-17 yr old young lady.

As I look at these pictures with the smiling girl looking fairly confident I also remember some really crazy periods during these times in High School.

I look now and I certainly don’t see a girl that was overweight, yet I do recall feeling fat a lot…and dieting a lot.

In fact, the previous year while I was at Oak Grove Boarding School I remember doing some crazy things to lose weight prior to a family Christmas trip to Florida. I was determined to feel awesome in that bikini! I exercised A LOT for months and I went through a period of only eating one meal per day! Ugh…the things young girls do!

There were other diets and craziness. In Ferryville, I used to walk an amazing 5-7 miles a day sometimes in the summer. I know that I focused A LOT on my body and the scale.

Man, I SO want our young girls to not have to feel fixated on their weight and self esteem issues.

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