31 to 40: Bullied or Harmless Teasing?

I'm turning 40 in 31 days!School bullying – I feel the pain of those that are bullying victims for sure!

3rd-grade4th-gradeThe pictures here are of me in the 3rd and 4th grades. I went to elementary school (grades 1-4 only) in the small town where I grew up.

My class was SMALL and by small I do mean that there were 7 of us. 4 boys and 3 girls! It was fun at times but mostly difficult the way that I recall it.

The three of us girls seemed to have a hard time ALL getting along. There was always a battle to be the best friend and always seemed to be an odd man (girl) out! How sad is that?!

I remember being teased like crazy from the 4 boys as well as the boys in the class ahead of us. At the time, everyone (my parents) would say the famous “they just tease you because they like you”. That may have been true, but it certainly didn’t feel like it. Looking back now as an adult, there really was some pretty serious bullying going on.

I can remember being physically hurt. In fact one day my parents got called in to the principal because I had been punched in the stomach. Yikes!

I know it was more than just teasing to me because I can remember not wanting to go to school and I can actually remember the feeling of wanting to die – yuck! Not being overly dramatic…it’s just the truth.

I admit to watching Lifetime movies sometimes on the weekend and I recently watched “Odd Girl Out”.  This movie was all about a poor young girl that went from being popular in school to getting bullied ALL because of a boy. (Her friend liked the boy and the boy liked her!)

The movie ended on a good note with the girl taking a stand and sticking up for herself against the bullies but this was after much turmoil including an attempted suicide.

Wow! We cannot be too careful with our children/teens when it comes to this fragile period of their lives. With today’s increase in technology there have been horrible cases of cyber bullying which have ended with teens taking their lives.

My story also ended on a good note. πŸ˜‰ Years later, (in fact it was my high school graduation) the leader of that elementary school bully pack had shown up at my graduation party. He had moved away years prior to that. He pulled me aside with a gift and told me how sorry he was for the way he had treated me in grade school. Crazy, but good!

I’m a big child/teen advocate and believe that we must stop bullying before this situation gets even worse among our children and teens.


32 to 40: On Solitude…

I'm turning 40 in 32 days!

My thoughts on solitude ~

I quite enjoy being alone, which is a good thing considering I am about to turn 40 years old while still “enjoying” my single life. πŸ˜‰

Don’t get me wrong, I am NOT anti-social at all and I don’t have any issues meeting new people or being with people in general. Those that know me well wouldn’t call me shy or NOT social. BUT truth be told, often I prefer to be by myself. I often prefer solitude to being with big groups of people.

I enjoy my own company. Does that sound prideful? I don’t mean it to be. I suppose this comes partly due to the fact that I have spent my adult life thus far as a single person. (with a few relationships throughout)

Writing this inspired me to look up the definitions for introverts vs. extroverts.

My quick definitions:

Extroverts: get “re-charged” from things outside of  one’s self
Introverts: get “re-charged” from one’s own mental life

Though I definitely possess traits of the extrovert (enthusiastic AND talkative!), based on the definition I would say that I am much more introverted.

Now thinking back to my childhood, I can definitely remember seeking out my solitude. (Not a huge surprise really considering I grew up in a pretty busy household)

Here’s a picture that shows a bit of the back of our house:

back-of-house

You can’t really tell from this picture, but beyond what you can see if you go past the playhouse, (My parents built this for us – how cute is it?) is a huge (to me at the time) hill that I would climb. I’d trek up through the woods, with lunch/book in hand to get the top of the hill. Once I got to the top, my view would be of the river below.

river-across-from-houseI absolutely LOVED to do this. I would seek out other vantage points around my small town but always the view inspired me and always with the goal to enjoy solitude.

It was here on the hill that I learned to be with my own thoughts. I did pray and talk to God back then but at that time in my young life I really didn’t know the meaning of being in relationship with God…that would come later. BUT I knew there was something bigger than myself and I knew that my life would take me on a journey. I think my young mind felt the stirring of purposefulness, even back then. It’s very cool to remember these things…I hope you will do the same.

Today, I’m grateful that I am a woman that enjoys my own company. I pray and hope that one day I would be able to share my life with someone. I hope that my pleasure in solitude does not hinder my future relationship. I think I will be able to make the adjustment! πŸ˜‰

What are your thoughts on being alone? Do you enjoy this time like me, or are you more often feeling lonely? Would love to hear it…

DAY 13 Dec. 7 Check In Available in the Forum

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Day 13 Holiday Challenge thread is available for check-in in the forum here.

I will be posting my day accountability/goals in the AM for each day but I will prep and put up each day, 1 day early for those of you that would rather post your goals for the next day in the evening (and for our friends in exotic time zones) πŸ˜‰

Feel free to comment here as well, but I would love to get Holiday Challenge discussion going in the forum! Thanks!

Go Team!

P.S. Need info about the challenge? Go here!

33 to 40: Earliest Awareness of Body Image

I'm turning 40 in 33 days!

age 1Here I take a little journey through thoughts of my adolescent body image as I recall it.

I was a pretty average size baby. I believe I weighed 7 lbs something at birth. I don’t think I had any real issues with eating at that young age and I certainly haven’t seen any pictures that suggest that I was anything other than an average size baby with an average size appetite.

I actually love when I see those babies with the chunky monkey legs that you just want to nibble on…I love that healthy baby fat!

That wasn’t me at this age though. That would come later! πŸ˜‰

Here are some pictures of me throughout the toddler years…

toddler-picsHere again, you can see that I was of pretty average weight. I don’t remember my parents feeding me anything other than the occasional treat when it came to sweets at this age.

The following pictures cover ages 6 through 11. They are headshots only but you can tell by my face that I was still of pretty average weight for my age. The body image of children is definitely being developed around these ages and I don’t recall anything out of the ordinary.

elementary pictures

I did start developing at a pretty early age – I would say 10-ish. I do remember noticing and not being completely comfortable with my new body. I didn’t want classmates to know when I began wearing a bra for example. I also recall not wanting anyone to see my weight on my report card in the 4th grade…hmmmm…what was that about?! I think it is so important when you have a daughter to be aware of a girls body image and what can affect this.

age 12age 12 in shortsIn both of these pictures to the left, I was 12 years old. I believe I was very aware of my changing body and how I looked at this stage relating to my adolescence body image. Not sure what was going on with my jeans in the first picture.  LOL AND it certainly doesn’t seem that I had an issue with showing my legs in the second picture. πŸ˜‰

I wouldn’t say that I was overweight at all here, but I do think I was heavier among my peers and probably more developed as well. I think I was starting to get a little attention from older boys at this point also. For example, I can remember mingling with the boys on our Jellystone camping trips by this point. Ugh…what a parent’s nightmare!

I will be revisiting the issue of body image a bit more as I complete this Turning 40 series. I’m confident that my real weight gain happened much after high school, but I’m sure that earlier ideas of body image also played a part…just as it does for all of us.

Not looking for any one thing, excuse or reason…just trying to be aware and look at the whole picture/journey of my life so far that has gotten me to where I am today. πŸ™‚


DAY 12 Dec. 6 Check In Available in the Forum

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Day 12 Holiday Challenge thread is available for check-in in the forum here.

I will be posting my day accountability/goals in the AM for each day but I will prep and put up each day, 1 day early for those of you that would rather post your goals for the next day in the evening (and for our friends in exotic time zones) πŸ˜‰

Feel free to comment here as well, but I would love to get Holiday Challenge discussion going in the forum! Thanks!

Go Team!

P.S. Need info about the challenge? Go here!

34 to 40: Yogi Bear was my Friend

I'm turning 40 in 34 days!

As far as my family was concerned, Yogi Bear Campground was THE place to be during the warm summer months!

Yogi Bear Campground

Jellystone Park was one of our favorite camping locations. Mom would pack up the camping trailer with all of our gear and off we could go for a long weekend or weeks at a time when vacation was upon us.

For the little ones, there were hay rides and sing-a-longs complete with the Yogi Bear Song. Let’s not forget Boo Boo Bear who was a hit every time.  For my sisters and I, there were campfires, days at the pool and waterslides. The nights found us listening to a live band and dancing up a storm. It was at Jellystone Campground that I first had my singing debut with the band. I can remember being nervous the first time I sang “Could I Have This Dance” by Anne Murray.  I was an entertainer at an early age. πŸ˜‰

The camping life was fun all right! Here’s a picture of my siblings and me – you can see the family camper in the background.

camping

Yes my T-Shirt in that picture does read “90% Angel”!

Life was good and I would say that those camping reservations Mom made back then for Jellystone really paid off for us as a family because we learned to have fun and enjoy one another’s company. I can remember my parents giving us the option of inviting a friend to which we would often decline, just because we had the most fun enjoying the camping life with one another!

Thanks for the awesome family vacation memories Mom and Dad!


DAY 11 Dec. 5 Check In Available in the Forum

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Day 11 Holiday Challenge thread is available for check-in in the forum here.

I will be posting my day accountability/goals in the AM for each day but I will prep and put up each day, 1 day early for those of you that would rather post your goals for the next day in the evening (and for our friends in exotic time zones) πŸ˜‰

Feel free to comment here as well, but I would love to get Holiday Challenge discussion going in the forum! Thanks!

Go Team!

P.S. Need info about the challenge? Go here!


35 to 40: Lessons Learned While Water Skiing

I'm turning 40 in 35 days!Introducing…Paula the Water Skier!

water skier

Water skiing on the Mississippi River was one of my favorite past times growing up. My grandfather owned a ski boat and we were a family of water skiers.

I absolutely loved to do this in the summer. We would pack up food for the day, grab our water ski equipment and swim suits and head the few miles to the boat dock. I was definitely not the best of the bunch and I’ve actually not skied since my teenage years now that I think about it.

boatMy grandfather and aunt taught me how to water ski when I was pretty young and they felt confident enough about me being in the water. I can remember sitting in the boat watching my aunt ski who was really quite good and desperately wanting to learn to water ski.  Finally the day came and she loaned me a pair of water skiis. I’m sure that I did not get up that first day.

4 Things I learned from Water Skiing:

  • Trust: I learned that I needed to trust that the person watching me from the boat would see me if I fell – I wasn’t alone in the river and the boat/my grandfather would come back around to pick me up.
  • Perseverance: I learned not to give up! Often many failures WILL lead to success! Do NOT give up! Boy have I seen this one play out in my later years!
  • From Effort Comes Reward: There were so many times in the beginning, when I did NOT get up on the water skis. I was cold, tired, and sore! Eventually I figured it out and all the effort paid off!
  • Feeling of Freedom: The feelings I had while water skiing were very similar to the feelings I had while riding on the back of my dad’s Harley. There was a pure sense of freedom and the knowledge that the world was vast and full of opportunities.

As I’m revisiting these childhood memories, I’m definitely noticing a recurring theme that I believed I learned at a very early age.  I’ve always felt adventurous and optimistic and I can remember feeling that way as a child often in the types of activities I would enjoy whether riding on the motorcycle with dad, gliding across the Mississippi on my skis, sitting at my own little private beach or hiking to the top of the hill above our house.  Ah yes…I was a little dreamer back then and I still believe in dreams today! πŸ˜‰


DAY 10 Dec. 4 Check In Available in the Forum

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Day 10 Holiday Challenge thread is available for check-in in the forum here.

I will be posting my day accountability/goals in the AM for each day but I will prep and put up each day, 1 day early for those of you that would rather post your goals for the next day in the evening (and for our friends in exotic time zones) πŸ˜‰

Feel free to comment here as well, but I would love to get Holiday Challenge discussion going in the forum! Thanks!

Go Team!

P.S. Need info about the challenge? Go here!


36 to 40: Speaking of My Father…

I'm turning 40 in 36 days.I have wonderful father daughter stories and memories of my childhood. Of course I loved my mother just as much as dear ol dad, but there was something about spending time with him that I loved. Perhaps it was because I was the first born and a girl at that. (My brother wouldn’t come along until 2 more daughters and several years later.) I guess one might have called me a tomboy in my youth and I don’t think I would have minded.

One of my fondest memories had to do with one of my dad’s cheese making tasks. About once every few months or so (as I recall), my dad had to travel a few hours to another cheese factory to grade cheese. If I was lucky and the weather was agreeable, my father would opt to take his Harley and invite me to go with him. I can’t remember ever saying no to this suggestion. I absolutely loved riding on the back of that motorcycle with him.

How’s this for a fun father daughter picture?

harley-with-dad

My dad and I would take off for the day to complete his work and then we were almost sure to stop for ice cream at one of the fantastic Wisconsin Dairies on the way home. I loved that time together…just me and my dad!

I remember the childhood sense of freedom that I felt while on the back of his bike. I don’t know what my childish mind would have called it back then, but today I compare it to the confidence I have that I can do anything I set my mind to. Back then it was a rush I would feel with my arms tight around my dad and the wind against my face…often singing at full vocal capacity dreaming of the woman I wanted to become as I grew older.

hunting with dadMemory #2 and why I know I did many things just to hang out with my father…aren’t little girls cute? πŸ˜‰ I was my fathers daughter and I wanted to be by his side even if it meant the freezing cold of winter toting a gun and mindful of the tears freezing on my cheek because I was so uncomfortable.  I did the gun safety course just as any son …errr  daughter would do, but even before I could carry a gun I was going on these deer hunting expeditions with him.

So as not to offend any anti-hunting readers (not really, but seemed a bit much to include the small-ish deer), I’ve cropped this picture, but you should know that my arm is resting over the deer on the tire that I shot during this particular season! I may look proud in this picture, but I pretty much only pulled the trigger that day because I could not handle telling my dad when we met up later than I missed the opportunity! So shot I did! Truth be told, I couldn’t do it today. Whew! BUT back then it was all about being with my dad. How funny I was!

So there you have it! A tribute to the time spent with my father. Thanks Dad! Not sure I’d ever do the hunting thing again with you but I’ll meet you for coffee and a bagel any day of the week!

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